


Come to the Dark Side, We Have Health Insurance

by reys_island



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: AU where everything is the same, But with some extra humor thrown in, Enemies to Allies, F/M, Post-TLJ, Rey learns about hygiene!, Sensual toothbrushing, Temporary Truce, the Doctor is in
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-05-27 02:58:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15015170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reys_island/pseuds/reys_island
Summary: Kylo Ren knows Rey needs a teacher. He also knows that she probably hasn’t ever had a chance to practice basic hygiene. With the Resistance numbers low and unable to provide any sort of benefits for those that are fighting for the cause, Kylo takes it upon himself to make sure his mortal enemy isn’t calling in sick for any and all upcoming battles. That’s why he’s arranging appointments with various medical professionals throughout the galaxy. Theonlyreason why.





	Come to the Dark Side, We Have Health Insurance

**Author's Note:**

> This week I was in the dentist's chair, having my semi-annual checkup, when the hygiene assistant just goes ham on my teeth, really getting any tartar buildup that could possibly be there scraped off. It hurt like no other, but my mind began to wander to Star Wars, thinking, "Could Force users will this pain away?" I tried to meditate, to no avail. It still hurt! So then I imagined Star Wars characters going to the dentist and it occurred to me that Rey has probably never seen a doctor. And this was born. I may do a few sporadic installments, but this is all for fun.

“This does not change my mind, you know.” Rey’s voice is muffled as a medical droid pokes and prods at her mouth.

Kylo Ren is sprawled out on a rather uncomfortable chair in the corner of the room, finding no easy way to set his legs. He wears his menacing black ensemble, complete with a cowl and gloves, and is casually skimming through a holopad, “It’s not a matter of choice, Rey.” 

She makes a noise in protest, her tongue too occupied to articulate, “It is! And my choice- _Agh!_ \- is that it’s a useless part of a routine that I have never needed before!” 

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t understand you, could you repeat that?”

“Oh you,- _Yyoow!_ ” The rest of Rey’s comeback is cut off by a sharp pick-like object scraping much too close to her gums. 

“Please hold still, ma’am, I’m almost finished,” The droid pleads, sounding exasperated. 

Kylo sighs and sets the holopad down on his lap, looking straight at the girl set on a leaned back chair much like the first time they met on Starkiller. “Using floss will not kill you. In fact, it will significantly lessen the tartar buildup that is currently causing you so much trouble.” 

Rey cannot see Kylo due to the bright light near her face and the fact that she’s turned towards the large windows overlooking the shady planet in the Core Rim they were currently in. She inwardly moans, trying her best to sit still, but the dental droid just keeps picking and scraping- it’s absolutely agonizing. Her fists clench to her sides, and she attempts to call the force in order to calm her. She slows down her breathing, 

Deep breath in- 

_Scrape._

_Pinch._

_Scrape._

Deep breath out-

_Scrape._

_Scrape._

_SCRAPE._

Kriff it, it was no use! Did they not have some kind of anesthesia they could put her under? A numbing agent? Why must she endure this torture?

“I hate this! My teeth are fine!”

“Your teeth were most certainly not fine before your first appointment. Six cavities, two requiring crowns, enamel erosion due to sand exposure-”

“Yes, but they fixed all of that! Why must I keep coming back?!”

“Every six standard months, Rey. This is basic hygiene.”

The medical droid finally steps away, rinsing Rey’s mouth and sucking up the extra moisture with tools all included on her hand. She is handed a cup of blue liquid, “Swish this in your mouth. Do _not_ swallow!”

Rey rolls her eyes before doing as she’s told. She’s surprised the liquid has a flavor, much like herbs, “What is-” half of the liquid falls out of her mouth as she tries to speak. 

Kylo just gives her a look, blinking. “It’s supposed to stay in your mouth,” he looks down, quietly adding “you scoundrel” under his breath, hardly believing that this young adult, one of the most powerful force-users in the galaxy, could not understand the concept of not talking with her mouth full. 

“I heard that,” she mentions indignantly, watching as the droid silently cleans up the mess Rey has made. “What is this stuff?” She asks again.

“Fluoride. You swish it in your mouth and it helps keep your teeth strong.”

“Okay; what’s that taste?”

“Mint. It’s known to give a refreshing feel after-” Kylo pauses, narrows his eyes, “-after cleaning your teeth. The toothpaste that I provided you six standard months ago had the same flavor so it’s surprising to me that the taste is foreign to you,” he finishes slowly. 

Rey blushes at the accusation. The medical droid switches off her bright light set above Rey’s mouth and allows her to hop out of her reclined seat. “You’re all finished,” the droid says with a relieved sigh. Only six more months until she would have to treat this fully-grown _child_ again. 

Rey looks at Kylo who is now standing up and stowing away his holopad, ready to leave now that their- her appointment is over. “Tell your fancy torture droid to program some form of gentleness when handling my mouth.” 

The droid straightens her back, pausing from cleaning up the mess her most recent patient had made, “Supreme Leader, I am the most celebrated and successful dental hygienist in the galaxy. You would do well to remind your prisoner of that fact as well as to brush her teeth and floss after meals.” She hands a small bag full of dental supplies to her latest patient maybe slightly more forcefully than needed. 

“Oi!”

“Will do, C-H25.”

“I do not visit these types of planets for a reason, Supreme Leader. If I happen to have parts of me stolen on the short walk from here to my ship, I am billing you the receipt for damages.”

“I would expect no less. You are dismissed.” 

The two humans watch the droid make her way out with the slight stiffness of a high-functioning robot, and quickly find themselves alone in the makeshift office. 

“I’m not your prisoner,” Rey mutters. 

Kylo ignores this, “Don’t think you escaped talking about your lack of toothbrushing habits, scavenger,” Oh no. He only called her ‘scavenger’ when he was immensely disappointed or angry, “I told you. I gave you specific instructions: Brush twice a day.”

“You can’t give me orders,” Rey snaps. 

“Can you not see it’s for your benefit? I know you like the feeling of clean teeth; you haven’t stopped running your tongue along them in your mouth since you stood from that chair!” Rey abruptly quits it. She really did like the smooth feeling with no plaque buildup. “If you don’t brush, you open yourself up to a myriad of issues like gingivitis, gum disease-”

“I don’t know how, okay?!” Rey finally cries. 

Kylo stops. She watches his mind pause and rewind like an old holovid, “Huh?”

“I don’t really know what I’m doing when I’m brushing, and it always kind of hurts, and when I do get a chance to use a ‘fresher, I just want to be done as soon as possible so I can sleep!”

“And you couldn’t ask anybody for help? Looked it up on a holopad?”

“I- I guess I could have. I was too embarrassed.” Rey tilts her head down, face aflame. 

Her arch enemy sighs, shoulders dropping in a sudden bout of exhaustion. It calls attention to the prominent bags underneath his eyes, “Fine. Come on.” 

He walks over to the sink haphazardly installed near the center of the room. Rey follows, unsure of his plans. Kylo takes the bag out from her hands, removes the toothpaste and the toothbrush with a little extra sarcastic flare, and begins to wet the brush. Rey watches raptly. “Step one, if you didn’t rinse the brush, the bristles might have hurt. Plus if you aren’t making it a habit, your gums will never build the strength to take that kind of abrasion.” 

He then squeezes a dollop of paste onto the bristles, “Step two. Cover the brush. No small little bits of toothpaste on the top. The taste will be a bit jarring at first, but once it lathers into your mouth the flavor will subside.” He puts the brush in his mouth, saying the words “Step three” around it, “Brush. Get every spot, go back and forth, maneuver it however you need to get every surface. Make sure you are brushing your gums, but don’t be harsh.” 

Rey thinks she catches all of his directions, but they become muffled the longer he brushes his teeth in front of her. Foam bubbles out to the sides of his mouth. He leans over and spits into the basin he placed them in front of, “Spit and rinse. Repeat if needed. The whole process takes two minutes. Think of it like cleaning oil off of an engine- the brush is a tool and your mouth is the machinery.” He rinses the brush off in the sink before holding out the brush and tube of toothpaste to her. Rey shrinks back in disgust. Kylo scoffs, “You didn’t even know about germs until this year and drank Jakku water for much longer. Don’t be a nerfherder; I want to know that you can do this on your own.” 

Rey stubbornly keeps her hands to her sides. 

He rolls his eyes, “Please,” trying one more time. The plea reminds Rey of another time he held out his hand to her with the same words on his lips, what was maybe only a few standard months ago feels like forever. She left him on Crait with a much different dynamic than they currently had with their new agreement. 

Her first physical nearly a year ago was extremely basic, and was provided after a temporary truce between the two whenever they designated an anonymous spot in the galaxy for Rey to receive any kind of health care Kylo deemed she needed. After one case of the flu where she was placed out of commission and off the front lines for more than two weeks (scaring both Kylo Ren and herself, the former believing she was dying sensing her weakened force signature), they created secret appointments hidden under the guise of missions to keep Rey healthy. She didn’t think of it as a betrayal to the Resistance, not at all. She wasn’t utilizing the dwindling Resistance funds but rather taking money from the First Order, and it kept Kylo Ren occupied somewhere else for a day every few cycles. Rey knew there was no time or place to catch up on what she missed about hygiene growing up on a planet where she not only had to survive but teach herself any lessons or skills she may have desired. Medicine was never one of them- too hard and expensive to come by on Jakku. Kylo Ren was the next best (and willing) teacher. 

She grumbles and takes the brush and paste. Following his instructions, she wets the brush, puts a heaping dollop of toothpaste onto the bristles, and puts it into her mouth. He was right about the taste and texture- she cringes as she first moves the tool around her mouth. Eventually, she lathers the mixture into a sort of foamy paste into her mouth and moves the brush around, making the bristles move against her teeth like it was just demonstrated to her. She does the front of her top and bottom teeth, but nearly spits and rinses before touching the molars. 

Kylo makes a noise of protest. He takes her chin gently in his hand and reaches for the brush with the other. “Open,” he quietly commands. As if being controlled by the force, Rey opens her mouth with no protest, head tilted up so she’s looking straight at Kylo. His brows knitted into concentration, he positions the brush underneath her lip and brushes back and forth, slowly making his way deeper into her mouth. 

Rey has nowhere to look but straight in front of her, at the man quietly cleaning her teeth with precision, a far cry from the temper-addled darksider she usually sees in war. “You want to make sure you reach all the way back to these teeth back here- that’s where cavities are most common. Right where you bite…” his voice is breathy and obviously concentrated on what he’s doing, and even though Rey is slightly uncomfortable having an intruding tool move around her mouth, she can’t help but be mesmerized by how someone else is taking care of her, teaching her in such a kind way-

He pushes the brush just a little too far back and Rey gags. Kylo smirks, “Be careful not to go back too far.” He says before putting the brush down on the lip of the sink. Rey coughs and spits out the remaining paste in her mouth, rinsing when Kylo reaches to turn on the faucet. She puts her new goodies into the bag she was provided and they leave the room. 

“There’s a fried ice cream parlor around the corner from here that we’ll stop by before parting ways.” Kylo mentions as they make their way out. 

Rey squints at Kylo with an incredulous look, “What do you think it is we’re doing here? You want to grab _ice cream_?”

Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, face of the First Order, the Most Powerful Force-User in the Galaxy, shrugs, “I always got ice cream after my dentist appointments.” 

Well, then. Rey huffs, “Lead the way.” 

She’s not going to say no to free food. Free fried ice cream, no less. 

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on tumblr @reys-island !!!


End file.
